A Fighting Chance
by flinkerdoodle
Summary: When your entire life crumbles, you don't just bounce right back. Uryu knew he surely wouldn't. But a new class with new things and people completely alien to him? Maybe it's just the kind of oddity that Uryu needs.
1. Chapter 1

It was a quiet evening. The crickets were chirping their soft songs in the darkness of the night. The wind sighed with the cloudless night. The stars were visible above, very few cloud obscuring the faint view of them. The dim streetlights were all we had to pave our way home. Besides the hum of the nocturnal animals or insects, all was silent. Lights inside of houses had long since been turned off, their inhabitants away, sleeping soundly in their beds.

But we were out, running amok and making a ruckus, cracking jokes at every turn. My quiet demeanor dissipated around him, his brash and loud nature causing me to let loose, be a little louder.

Shiro and I, nothing could stand between us and our happiness.

It didn't matter anymore, how things had gotten to be the way they were. All that mattered was that we were together, and together we would be.

My whole life, my personality, my facial expressions, all changed because of this guy. I used to be a fucking prude, and then I find myself smiling when I'm eating candy simply because it was something he liked to do.

His laugh, unlike mine, would cut through walls, leak through little vents and carry through backyards like a joyous, rambunctious, and truly pure disease. No one could listen to Shiro's laugh and not at least smile along.

Mine would stutter out, albeit still louder than it used to be. But Shiro would tell me how much he adored it, and it gave me the confidence to let it out more.

I did just that as Shiro told me another horribly terrible joke, my laughter catching in a similar way to his, and I notice a grin creeping onto his own pale face, his golden irises crinkling at the edge.

Things were, admittedly, wobbly. Shiro was having a few family problems (a very recent fight with his similarly skinned father), and it was practically his whole reason for taking me out today. He needed to get away.

It's not like I could ever say no to him.

We continued our walk down the quiet street, sometimes stopping for a sickeningly sweet kiss. We were on our way back from downtown, a stupid sci-fi movie that Shiro had been dying to see anyways at the theater.

Despite our happy mood and smiles, I sensed something was off. I wasn't sure if it was Shiro or if it was the atmosphere around them, but he was just about to mention it after Shiro finished a poorly delivered pun, when he started speaking again.

"Hey Uryu?" he asked, in an actually serious tone.

I wrote it off as what I was sensing and answered, "Yeah?" shoving my hands into my hoodie, one that Shiro himself coerced me into buying.

He looked at me with his mouth open, ready to say something, but the right words not seeming to come to him. He glanced away nervously, scratching the shorter hairs on the back of his neck. "I, uh," he started out smartly, "I have a question?" He scrunched his face up, the words still not seeming right to him.

I gave him a little smile of encouragement, nodded what a "Yes?"

I swallowed audibly and I wondered deeply what he could possibly be so nervous about.

"D-do you-" he squeezed his eyes shut and blurted, "Do you want to have sex with me?"

I stopped and looked at him with wide eyes. I'd been expecting this question for quite a while, but right now?

"R-right now?" I asked verbally, chewing on my bottom lip.

Shiro sucked his lip again mumbling, "Well not on the street, but at your house or something, yeah..."

I wanted to, hell I'd wanted to ever since I'd first laid eyes on him, but with what's going on with his family? If I didn't know better, I'd say he's just doing it to run away from his problems.

And as much as I want to help him, this isn't going to be one of the ways I cave into him.

"I... Shiro, you know I'd say yes to you on literally any other day but..." I looked down at my shoes. It's not like I wanted to say no to him. This sucked. "Not tonight, I'm sorry."

Shiro looked at me with eyes wide, concern filling his gold irises. "Are you okay rabbit? Is something wrong? Oh jeez, I'm going too fast aren't I?"

I quickly shook my head, dispelling that particular thought. "No, baby, of course not. It's just," I sighed, scratching behind my ear. "With the thing with your dad, I don't think, you know, tonight is um..."

I turned to Shiro to see an almost... offended look etching his features. Oh, fuck this is not what I wanted. Before I could stutter out a reply, Shiro breathed, "You're not gonna sleep with me because of my dad?"

I bit my lip so hard I felt a metallic taste and I shook my head, opening my mouth to defend myself and- "That's a shitty excuse Uryu. You could just tell me you didn't want to have sex with me."

I felt frustration bubbling up in me. He's always quick to come to wild conclusions. It can be charming at times, but this clearly isn't one of those times. "Shiro, you're misreading me. Can I-"

"No, you're misreading me!" He nearly shouted, his snowy eyebrows pulled closer to his lids. "You don't have to make up some excuse because you're not ready to have sex! Just fucking tell me!"

I growled, a scowl making its way onto my face. "Shiro, I don't think you want to have sex because you want to, I think you just want a distraction." I wasn't giving in yet. Maybe I could get past his thick skull.

This time Shiro really did look genuinely offended and any thought of getting through to him seemed unreachable. "So what if I do? Is that really such a bad thing? To distract myself?"

I rubbed my temples, pushing my glasses up the bridge of my nose. "It's a problem if that's all you can honestly think of me as." I looked up at him, staring into his eyes with a hard gaze. "A distraction from the problems you should be facing. An excuse," I threw back at him. It was probably a step too far, but I wasn't taking this.

Shiro appeared conflicted between assuring me otherwise and arguing back because both were strong in his nature. I raised an eyebrow and that apparently made him pick his side as he snarled, "Don't you act like you're the victim here, Uryu. This is the last thing I need right now."

I glowered at him with a deathly look. "And this is the last thing I need right now. My family is just as bad as yours, if not worse. You're not the victim either."

Now it was Shiro's turn to rub his temples, a habit he probably picked up from Uryu. "I don't understand if you're on my side or not."

I sighed minutely. "Ultimately? Yours. I want what's best for you. And I don't think fraternizing with your boyfriend is the best thing right now. But if you really want to keep fighting me on this, you know I'm going to continue to argue."

Shiro, still staring at the pitch black pavement, lets out a similar sigh, but his much more drawn out and louder. "Are you sure?" he asked simply.

I nodded slowly. "Another time. I promise." I held out my pinky, a tradition for us that seemed older than the stars at this point. But just as important.

Shiro looks up at my extended appendage, a soft expression crossing his face. He intertwines his own pastel pinky that sported a blooming bruise from god knows where with his albino skin with mine. And everything seemed a little more at peace.

Any panicking or angry demons in the tangled vines of my head were silenced, the balance brought forth again.

We continued on our walk in silence, the air filled with the said and unsaid words and hanging thoughts.

I felt bad. Maybe it was because Shiro always guilt trips me with that face, but I really did feel bad. He wanted release, but I knew this wasn't going to be the way it could be resolved or the way he could get release.

"Are you mad at me?" I blurted before I realized what I was doing. Shiro gave me a pointed look but shook his head.

"No, I don't think I could ever be truly mad at you."

The words were simple and the cheesiest shit I've ever heard, but it meant so much and for the first time that night I felt my eyes well up with tears. I nodded and put on a determined look, willing myself not to cry.

To Shiro, it must have looked like the funniest shit ever because he took one look at me and burst out laughing. I frowned, which in turn made Shiro laugh even more, his eyes crinkling up again.

I was about to retort when the deafening noise of a gunshot rang out. Shiro ducked down onto his stomach on instinct, grabbing my forearm to follow. The faint noises of yelling and curses could be heard from the dark apartment complex on the other side of the street.

We were just passing it and were even standing in front of it during our spat, and I wondered if all that yelling had been going on at the same time we were arguing. Shiro hissed at me to cross the street with him, crawling on his belly at first and then darting to the side of a small strip mall.

I followed suit, although stumbling when another gunshot rang out from the shady complex. Another string of curses as I slammed my back onto the brick wall to stay as out of sight as possible. My heart was thumping out of my chest, the blood rushing in my ears. Shiro looked just as panicked, his eyes as wide as a deer's in headlights.

He put on a facade of calamity, presumably for my own sake. He looked at me with deep, cool eyes and said in a hushed tone, "It's probably just a domestic dispute, but let's not wait to find out." He grabbed my arm and lead me towards the neighborhood behind the strip mall.

Another shot, much closer this time, rang in our ears. We heard voices, loud, angry voices that were approaching us. My mind was spinning with fear. I could see black curling around my vision as I panted next to Shiro.

Shiro jogged up the hill behind a house, still gripping my arm to keep me close until we heard a loud shout and another shot right behind us. I knew I shouldn't have, but I spun around to see. I couldn't even make out the figure, maybe besides a tuft of hair, but I heard Shiro fall beside me. I turned back around just in time to see Shiro's eyes roll into the back of his head. He lay on the grass, some stranger's yard, his hand over his diaphragm.

I felt the world fall from under my feet. Shiro coughed and screamed in pain, and all I could do is fall to my knees, leaning wildly over Shiro to help in any way. His hand covered a dark spot just under his chest. I knew he had been shot and I heard that maniac yelling behind me but all I could hear was a faint ringing.

I heard Shiro breathing heavily, but he was still laughing. I couldn't possibly imagine what the hell he was laughing about but I pulled my face close to his, fat tears running down my face. He smiled a tried to kiss my face, exhaling, "Love...all..." before he collapsed.

I held him in my arms, searching frantically for a sign of consciousness, but the rational side of me knew: all that blood loss, there was no possible way.

Sobs racked my body. I couldn't breathe and the whole world was spinning around me. I yelled at Shiro, shook him and told him to wake up but nothing. I couldn't feel his breath or his heartbeat and I just screamed and screamed.

All I can remember afterward was the freshly cut grass falling through my fingers, from a stranger's yard.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes: IMPORTANT - I'm changing the perspective to 3rd person! Super late update, but better late than never?**

He didn't know how long he stayed numb for. It felt like years, lifetimes. How many people had he locked out? His father set him up with probably thousands of therapists, but they didn't help. No meds or therapy or drugs could save Uryu from the huge, gaping hole left. He didn't want to think of the stupid fucking night that took everything away, _his_ everything. How long had it been anyways? A year? Uryu believed it had to be a year by now.

He didn't even care that the shooter was rotting in prison. The guy could have walked free and Uryu wouldn't have batted an eye. Uryu knew it wouldn't bring him back.

Sometimes when Orihime would bring him weird little candies, or when Chad would leave books or little knickknacks that were significant in his home country, he'd let on small smile, but it was never real, and it only made an appearance to comfort the other.

School numbed Uryu. It was dreadfully linear and offered a perfect distraction, and it made him blissfully numb to his mourning.

But when his dad forcefully signed him up for a band class the summer before his sophomore year? That made him care a little.

"Why is there a band class on my schedule," he deadpanned at his father's back, not really offering it as a question. His father's figure didn't even shift from the office chair. Papers were spread almost haphazardly around the desk, but Uryu was sure it was organized in some fashion, knowing his father.

"Because I put there," he deadpanned right back. Uryu gritted his teeth.

"I can't afford another extracurricular if I want to get into a good college."

That earned him a glance through the reflection of the monitor. "You're short on one extracurricular."

"What if I didn't want band then?"

"Tough shit." was his only answer and Uryu knew the conversation was over.

He stomped back to his room, refraining from slamming the door for the sake of the frames decorating his walls. A few dark band posters were framed and hung up - much to Uryu's father's chagrin - as well as a few pictures of him and his late mother.

His room always felt dark and empty. The posters and the pictures were the only things decorating the walls and his desk remained boring and colorless, as well his bookshelf. The only thing adorning the shelves were the few books Chad had gotten him and textbooks he used for school.

He flung himself onto his bed, willing any more tears from his eyes. He wasn't even sure if he could make tears anymore. He didn't want to go into a class where he didn't know anything. He didn't even enjoy music that much. He much preferred lyrical music, anyways.

He closed his eyes and he could see a blurry outline of a pale face behind his eyelids. He couldn't even make out the individual features of his face anymore. He'd thrown any pictures of - _couldn't even think his name_ \- him in a box and put it in the darkest, dustiest corner of the attic.

He wished he couldn't think of him.

. . .

School started and Uryu wished it wouldn't. He'd still get the shitty pity glances at everyone who knew what happened to him. They'd all just remind him of that stupid night and he wished he couldn't-

Whatever.

He plopped down in his seat of his first class: Precalc. It was easy, straightforward and a perfect distraction for his upcoming third block. His incredibly boring teacher droned on from a horribly dull powerpoint and a speech that he probably stole from Khan Academy. He liked having an advanced class; it meant there were no introductions on the first days, no stupid worksheets to get to know one another. Just work.

His second block went just as monotonously as his first, AP Chemistry apparently just as easygoing. But then the bell rang for the end of second block, and Uryu begrudgingly forced himself to drag his way to the band hall.

After almost completely passing the hidden doorway near the cafeteria, he cautiously entered the unfamiliar room. A few familiar heads bobbed around the room, but otherwise, there was no distinct crowd.

He made his way up to where he saw the teacher. The grey podium was surrounded by several tall music stands, several sheets of... everything draped across all of them. A drumstick adorned one of the stands, and the surprisingly tall teacher stood perched on a rotating chair that rose above the chairs in front of him.

Said teacher looked at Uryu with imploring eyes, "You're the new one on my attendance list, right?" Uryu was thankful for the lack of turning heads in the room. Many of the students were busy chatting with themselves as the tardy bell rang, and some darted back into the hallways to retrieve music stands from the clanky carts.

Uryu nodded, slightly nervous at the foreign atmosphere of the classroom. He expected a few people for every instrument, but there was at least 5 students for every instrument, some even more. Was there even supposed to be classes that were this large?

"I'm Mr. Kyoraku. It's nice to see new faces here, what instrument do you play?" A lazy smile appeared on his face and his eyebrows lifted expectedly and Uryu found himself frozen. He played _no_ instruments. _Jesus_ , what had his dad signed him up for?

"No... instruments?" he squeaked with a piched face. The the teacher frowned a bit, his bushy eyebrows pulling a bit into the middle of his forehead.

"Alright. Well, then I suppose we can just teach you one? Do you have any musical experience?" Uryu shook his head, shrugging. Mr. Kyoraku sighed and pointed at a short head in the swarm of instruments and students.

"Go find Rukia. She plays clarinet but she knows about all the instrument inventories. Ask her to find an instrument and a-" he paused, looking for a word. "a mentor."

Uryu nodded, his numb feelings replacing his anxious ones. A fiesty girl blocked his vision, her clothes consisting mainly of torn cloth and lace. "New kid?" she asked and Uryu nodded. "Let's see if we kind find something that works," she said, her face remaining neutral as she turned on heel to go into a cramped looking closet.

The only word Uryu could describe the closet smell was... musty. Like a mix of dust, old papers, aged brass, and that sweaty-teenager-in-high-school smell. All the shelves looked worn with the paint chipping off and dents covering most of the surfaces. The petite girl led him to the back of the room, where the instruments appeared the largest, and two tall cabinets that nearly reached the cieling were placed. There almost seemed to be grooves in the floor from walking upon them so much. Uryu doubted the integrity of this room.

"So did I hear you say you didn't play any instruments?" the girl- Rukia - asked in a monotone, almost. Uryu swallowed, fiddling with his jagged fingernails.

"Yeah. Sorry," he said simply. He felt like she deserved more of an explanation but he just wasn't doing that right then. Rukia looked a little puzzled, but just tucked a dark lock of hair behind her ear, shrugging.

"I guess you get to pick an instrument then. We've got a bunch of instruments that were given to the school that we let students borrow." She waved a hand towards the tall shelves on the wall opposite of the large cabinets. "Though," she continued, "it'd be pretty cool if you chose a lower brass instrument. There aren't many people there this year."

Uryu squinted at the various dark cases on the wall as he tried to recall his elementary schooling on music. He remembered them mentioning brass as a general group, so he assumed tubas had to be one of the lower brass instuments, but there obviously had to be more than that. He scrubbed his face with one hand and looked at Rukia. "What are all the instruments in that section that are available for borrowing?"

She looked up, frowning as she thought. "Tubas, baritones, trombones and kind of bari saxophones?" She raised an eyebrow. "They're low and the play like the same parts, but they're still like, a woodwind technically."

Uryu probably looked pretty stupid at that moment as his mouth opened and closed like a fish. He put his head in his hand and thought. He definitely didn't want to be a tuba. They were way too clunky and probably looked stupid. He was taking too long to think and he could really only remember the name of one of them at that point so he just- "Trombone?" he blurted, his voice cracking during the word.

Rukia's eyes seemed to sparkle at Uryu's choice and it sounded like she giggled as she pulled a few long cases from the middle shelf of the end of the rows. She layed them down in a row and opened them up one by one. "I'm just trying to see which one would work the best, or what looks the best," she explained as she took the third case off the shelf.

Uryu heard the heavy door to the classroom shut closed with a loud and heavy _thunk_ and Uryu jumped in surprise. He heard Rukia chuckle and she quickly defended, "It's fine, happens to the best of us. They're just probably starting, that's all."

Uryu decided at that moment that he was truly hating this class already, and he just wanted it to be over. This girl was fucking weird, the teacher looked leery and Uryu was sure he spotted at least 5 people wearing nerdy music shirts and he wasn't sure if he was going to be able to take this shit all semester. Gods, save him.

 **Notes: Hello! I'm just writing this based on my band class and my version of depression (I suppose). If anything seems incorrect or inaccurate, please let me know! Please also let me know if you liked it!**


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